1:00 AM
I should be in bed but I came home from work and collapsed. For 3 hours. So I guess I got a second wind. This weekend has been an absolute whirlwind of weirdness. I'm seeing a pattern here.
Friday was horrific, of course with the shooting in CT. Health-wise I was feeling a bit better and we think we've figured out what is wrong and more importantly, what can be done to improve it. I watched 30 minutes of the media's coverage of the massacre and then had to turn it off. That was enough for me. I don't need details on how every single thing occurred I just want to pray for the families affected by this tragedy. We need to stop giving so much air time to the murderer! It's frustrating to me.
Saturday was one of the worst days I've had in weeks...until an anonymous friend did something wonderfully kind for our family. It turned my whole day around. Someone was thinking of us, knew I'd been struggling and wanted to show that they cared. It meant everything to me. I'm so thankful for people who follow the promptings they receive to do something kind for someone else.
I was determined to make Sunday a great day. It was a new week. The thing is--each day my health hinges on what I ate the day before...if only I'd known this sooner. I ended up staying home from church sick. Again. I pulled myself together for Tithing Settlement where I had a teary outburst and then again that night when I got to my parents' house for family dinner. It's complicated. I don't want to sit and focus on all the negative things in my life because I know there are plenty of good things too. It's just hard to see them sometimes when you get feeling down. Poor health is the quickest way to ruin my mood. And poor health is what I've had for the last 7 weeks.
Having said that, I am pretty darn sure that I'm battling something called Candida. I don't want to go into a lot of explanation on the blog but it comes down to this: my body doesn't like sugar. It doesn't process it well. It feeds the natural yeast inside my body and contributes to symptoms I've had since I was a teenager and I just didn't know it. It also ties in my PCOS, fertility issues, gluten intolerance, insulin resistance and many more things. It's like the puzzle is finally creating a picture. The 3 rounds of antibiotics were just compounding a bad situation and making it worse! Now that I know what is wrong, I can treat it. The approach is simple in theory but executing it is one of the hardest things I've ever done! The diet I've had to begin to flush the Candida out of my body is crazy. Like, INSANE. No sugar,dairy, grains, pork, any type of processed food, juices, anything with vinegar (random, I know) and the list goes on. I'm living on veggies, 1 fresh fruit a day and white meat. The only artificial sweetener I can have is Stevia and legumes are even iffy. I know that eating this way will make me feel better, (I'm slowly starting to see the difference) but my body is going through a "die off" phase so even though I'm starting to feel slightly better, I think my body is fighting it. I'll spare you the details. I'm not sure how long my diet will have to be super strict but I know it'll be worth it if it works. The average is 30 days and then after that you can slowly start to add things back in. I don't think I'll ever be able to have a "normal" diet but that's probably a good thing! I've been needing something to motivate me to lose weight and this is the motivation I needed. I have absolutely no choice in the matter if I want to get better. I wish it wasn't as hard as it is. It's a crummy time of year to have to abstain from all the food I love but is there ever really a GOOD time? If I want to get my health back (and I desperately do)...this is what needs to happen.
Also, I just have to say that I love my parents. They have been there for me during this hard time. I'm prideful and don't like to ask for help sometimes. It's embarrassing to NEED other people but I know that's why the Lord keeps trying to teach me this lesson. I know my Mom has a lot of health problems of her own and it's hard to understand the emotional toll it takes on someone until you've walked in their shoes. I won't pretend to know what my Mom has gone through--but it's a lot. We cried together on Sunday and I appreciated her listening ear. I have been raised by two people who love each other and the Lord and I'm thankful for them both.
Danny has been my personal Angel. He amazes me with his patience. He is good to just let me cry but then try to encourage. There have been a lot of tears in the last year and I'm anxiously awaiting 2013 with open arms. We both are.
Danny started his new job today and is really excited (as excited as Danny gets about things like working). The company is super impressive and he made me laugh today when he said he felt like he finally had a grown up job :) I'm proud of him for going out of his comfort zone and finding this new job. We think he's really going to like it. I mean, who gets 30 minutes of PAID time to exercise while on the job? Sweetness. Plus, the benefits are only $60/month for the entire family. At one time we were paying $650. Perks for working for the state, I suppose :) We are thanking Heavenly Father every single day for this job. This is the highlight of the year for us and we desperately needed some good news to usher 2012 out the door. Well, it's nearing 2:00 AM and I need to hit the hay. Congrats if you didn't snooze off in the middle of this post!
Friday was horrific, of course with the shooting in CT. Health-wise I was feeling a bit better and we think we've figured out what is wrong and more importantly, what can be done to improve it. I watched 30 minutes of the media's coverage of the massacre and then had to turn it off. That was enough for me. I don't need details on how every single thing occurred I just want to pray for the families affected by this tragedy. We need to stop giving so much air time to the murderer! It's frustrating to me.
Saturday was one of the worst days I've had in weeks...until an anonymous friend did something wonderfully kind for our family. It turned my whole day around. Someone was thinking of us, knew I'd been struggling and wanted to show that they cared. It meant everything to me. I'm so thankful for people who follow the promptings they receive to do something kind for someone else.
I was determined to make Sunday a great day. It was a new week. The thing is--each day my health hinges on what I ate the day before...if only I'd known this sooner. I ended up staying home from church sick. Again. I pulled myself together for Tithing Settlement where I had a teary outburst and then again that night when I got to my parents' house for family dinner. It's complicated. I don't want to sit and focus on all the negative things in my life because I know there are plenty of good things too. It's just hard to see them sometimes when you get feeling down. Poor health is the quickest way to ruin my mood. And poor health is what I've had for the last 7 weeks.
Having said that, I am pretty darn sure that I'm battling something called Candida. I don't want to go into a lot of explanation on the blog but it comes down to this: my body doesn't like sugar. It doesn't process it well. It feeds the natural yeast inside my body and contributes to symptoms I've had since I was a teenager and I just didn't know it. It also ties in my PCOS, fertility issues, gluten intolerance, insulin resistance and many more things. It's like the puzzle is finally creating a picture. The 3 rounds of antibiotics were just compounding a bad situation and making it worse! Now that I know what is wrong, I can treat it. The approach is simple in theory but executing it is one of the hardest things I've ever done! The diet I've had to begin to flush the Candida out of my body is crazy. Like, INSANE. No sugar,dairy, grains, pork, any type of processed food, juices, anything with vinegar (random, I know) and the list goes on. I'm living on veggies, 1 fresh fruit a day and white meat. The only artificial sweetener I can have is Stevia and legumes are even iffy. I know that eating this way will make me feel better, (I'm slowly starting to see the difference) but my body is going through a "die off" phase so even though I'm starting to feel slightly better, I think my body is fighting it. I'll spare you the details. I'm not sure how long my diet will have to be super strict but I know it'll be worth it if it works. The average is 30 days and then after that you can slowly start to add things back in. I don't think I'll ever be able to have a "normal" diet but that's probably a good thing! I've been needing something to motivate me to lose weight and this is the motivation I needed. I have absolutely no choice in the matter if I want to get better. I wish it wasn't as hard as it is. It's a crummy time of year to have to abstain from all the food I love but is there ever really a GOOD time? If I want to get my health back (and I desperately do)...this is what needs to happen.
Also, I just have to say that I love my parents. They have been there for me during this hard time. I'm prideful and don't like to ask for help sometimes. It's embarrassing to NEED other people but I know that's why the Lord keeps trying to teach me this lesson. I know my Mom has a lot of health problems of her own and it's hard to understand the emotional toll it takes on someone until you've walked in their shoes. I won't pretend to know what my Mom has gone through--but it's a lot. We cried together on Sunday and I appreciated her listening ear. I have been raised by two people who love each other and the Lord and I'm thankful for them both.
Danny has been my personal Angel. He amazes me with his patience. He is good to just let me cry but then try to encourage. There have been a lot of tears in the last year and I'm anxiously awaiting 2013 with open arms. We both are.
Danny started his new job today and is really excited (as excited as Danny gets about things like working). The company is super impressive and he made me laugh today when he said he felt like he finally had a grown up job :) I'm proud of him for going out of his comfort zone and finding this new job. We think he's really going to like it. I mean, who gets 30 minutes of PAID time to exercise while on the job? Sweetness. Plus, the benefits are only $60/month for the entire family. At one time we were paying $650. Perks for working for the state, I suppose :) We are thanking Heavenly Father every single day for this job. This is the highlight of the year for us and we desperately needed some good news to usher 2012 out the door. Well, it's nearing 2:00 AM and I need to hit the hay. Congrats if you didn't snooze off in the middle of this post!
Comments
The benefits sounds rad w Danny's new job. Congrats again.
I really hope this new diagnosis finally gets you back to feeling healthy again, because I can only imagine how this past year has been for you. I think this year is your year. And if it's not, I'm going to hurt 2013. Bad. :)