Just the usual

Just doing my weekly  annual Sunday post. All about our week and the fun things we've done what's in my head at the moment.

Sometimes it feels good to do something few people attempt to do. I'm sure that's how women who have natural childbirths must feel like. They're basically warriors, right? Well, I've been off social media for a week so that's pretty much in the same category. I'm a warrior. Obviously.

I've had some awesome epiphany's this past week since I've been somewhat off the grid. First and foremost, I "join in" on social media because I love social interaction. I love people. I love connecting with people. When I pull myself away from the networking and connecting, I do miss certain aspects of it. But I am also happier with myself! It's a tricky balance. I love not comparing what I'm doing against what other people are doing. Someday I'm going to not just learn (for the millionth time) but embrace that I am different than other people. Even my close friends. What works for me, doesn't have to work for them. What works for them, doesn't have to work for me. That includes, how I spend my free time, how I parent my children, how sometimes I swear and think it's funny, how I spend my money, how I run a household, how I don't use organic produce and how I sometimes binge watch Survivor.

Somehow I've tricked myself into thinking that I don't care what other people think of me. That's a load of bologna. If I share something important to me (on a social media platform) and someone whose opinion I value, criticizes or doesn't place the same value on that topic/picture/article--I start to worry. Maybe I shouldn't like it? There's something wrong with me. I'm flawed. I should think/feel/act the way they do. Because I admire them. Therefore, we must be the same? Why am I not more like them?

So. Dumb.

Nothing helps you realize all the various flaws you have, quite like counseling does. Danny and I started going to therapy last Fall and it has been the best thing we've ever done for ourselves, both as a couple and as individuals. I went in to counseling hoping we'd get some tools to help us find middle ground as a couple when we feel so far apart in certain areas. I am learning that I have so many personal things to work on that will benefit my marriage and my immediate family. It's humbling. It's terrifying. It's awesome. Our minds are tricky things. We believe the things we think. Even if those thoughts aren't true.

This past year has been one of introspection, physical hardship, emotional conflict and eye-opening realizations. It's been a tough one. But as Heavenly Father always does, he equips us with what we need to get through the storm. In my case, a loving husband and three awesome sons. Friends who check in with me. Parents who adore me. And the Savior of the World who died for me.

I'll keep putting one foot in front of the other. Because as Elder Whitney Clayton said in his April General Conference address, "the Lord promises to direct our paths, but for Him to do that, we have to walk, trusting that He knows the way because He is “the way.”