1st School Picture

I'm kind of wigging out that Cole is having his first school picture taken.  All of a sudden he is in school and having class photos, going on field trips and learning how to read.  I kind of want to slow things down a bit but on the other hand he is having so much fun! I know that I couldn't provide these kind of experiences here at home because I'm not this creative and as an only child he would be terribly bored.

So, of course I'm feeling all kinds of sentimental about life.  It's moments like this that make me sad and frustrated.  Sad that I don't know if I'll ever get to experience some of these things again and frustrated that even though there are lots of people who suffer from infertility, it makes me feel very alone and very inadequate.  If a 14 year old irresponsible girl can get pregnant, why can't I? These are the questions that eat at me.  I'm sick of people saying "it happens when you least expect it" or "it's just not the right time".  Don't people know I already know that? That doesn't make it easier.  And it usually irritates me.  Sometimes I just want to hear someone say "I'm sorry--I can't imagine how you feel, but I want you to know that I'm here if you need to talk" or SOMETHING to that affect.

So this post is becoming depressing...sheesh.  I didn't mean for it to take a turn down depression road.  Let's just look at how cute Cole is and leave it at that ;)