At this moment...and other stuff
I'm sitting in bed with my hot pad and the laptop. Eating kale chips and straining my neck to see out the basement window. I see blue skies! Woot! I have the most comfortable bed in the world. I'm pretty sure. I'm catching up on blogs, facebook and emails. I'm choosing to focus on all the good things I got done yesterday and not my list of things I didn't finish. I just watched this video and bawled like a baby. I highly recommend it.
Yesterday was my first day of being "unemployed" again. I was having a good bladder day (yep, just used that phrase) and met Danny out at Winco by his work to buy some nuts from the bulk foods. I love Winco and I love breaking up the day with Danny's face :) I then proceeded to run 1.5 million errands. I was completely exhausted when I got home. Completely. I knew the laundry wasn't going to get done. Yeah right. I did manage to make Danny & Cole dinner (tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches) before my symptoms flared up and it was hard to stand up straight. So Danny made ME some dinner (ground turkey, squash and zucchini). We're just really into serving each other. That's what it is. A few hours later I decided that since every dish in the house was dirty, I'd better suck it up and do some dishes. Now only half the dishes are dirty. Hurray! Danny did the bike and we watched some Modern Family & A.I. When I found out Nicki Manaj was one of the new judges I had ZERO interest in watching it this year. Somehow, we got sucked in and I'm shocked at how much she hasn't gotten on my nerves just YET.
I've been doing a lot of research about IC (interstitial cystitis) as well as Candida and I'm really trying to find natural approaches. I've lost 25 pounds since I cracked down on my diet. It's the hardest and most emotionally exhausting 25 pounds I've ever lost. My weight has fluctuated a lot over the years and I've lost and gained several times. This time has by far been the hardest but it has also brought me the biggest reward. Not only have I lost weight, I've learned more about nutrition. I've learned that there are certain foods I don't want Cole to be raised on. I've learned that fresh is best. I've learned that I can learn to like new things and that I can DO hard things.
More importantly, I've learned that I need to be more compassionate towards people who have physical and health challenges. I need more empathy and humility. I've learned that God will not give us a trial we can't handle. He just won't. That means, with His help, I can do this. I read this talk the other night that changed my life. It sounds super cliché and trite but it did. It changed my perspective and how I view life. Some of the statements hit me like a ton of bricks. I layed in bed and just bawled. I've read it several times since. I've learned that sometimes the Lord won't take away our trials, because if He does--we won't learn the things we're supposed to learn. This life is called a test for a reason. Metaphorically speaking, the teacher doesn't give answers to a test until AFTER we finish it. Thankfully, I've had some sacred experiences that have confirmed to me the reason for this trial. I know that's not typical (to know WHY we're going through tough times when we're smack dab in the middle of them) but I'm grateful that the Lord saw fit to make an exception for me. It's making the process easier. I'm happy to know that the outcome of this test is way more than a good grade. It's eternal life and there is NOTHING I want more. Keeping an eternal perspective has helped me to focus on what matters most.
Two nights ago we almost put an offer on a home. We were literally driving to our Realtor's house and I got a really uneasy feeling. We'd seen the house twice, liked the area, LOVED the house. As in, I doubt we'll find one we like that much in terms of layout, space, storage, etc. We took the weekend to think about it and felt at peace with things but the more I thought about it while we were on our way to make it happen, my uneasiness grew into anxiety and I felt sick about it. For some reason, we're not supposed to be there. It was really disappointing because we felt so good at first and then that stupor of thought crawled in. When we got home that night, I was emotionally spent. I needed some clarity and was feeling totally overwhelmed with everything so I asked for a blessing. Danny gave me a beautiful, powerful and specific blessing. There have been few other blessings in my life where the Spirit was so strong. I'm glad Cole was able to witness it. There was no denying that Danny and I were overcome with the Spirit and I know Cole felt it too. I'm so grateful to be married to a worthy priesthood holder who can be the Lord's mouthpiece. I cannot imagine not having the Priesthood in my home. The blessing was much too sacred to share in such a public place but it was exactly what I needed to hear.
Since I'm jumping all over the place in this post, I'll add that Danny is doing awesome with losing weight too! He has made some big changes in the way he eats and it's starting to show. I never imagined we'd be growing kefir, adding chia seeds to green smoothies and cutting out so much processed junk. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss an occasional soda or slab of pizza...because I do. And I believe that my body will once again get to a point when I can indulge in that once in a while. For now, I'd settle with indulging in cheese, tomatoes or gluten-free ANYthing. Heck, I'd take a handful of fruit! Someday!
Yesterday was my first day of being "unemployed" again. I was having a good bladder day (yep, just used that phrase) and met Danny out at Winco by his work to buy some nuts from the bulk foods. I love Winco and I love breaking up the day with Danny's face :) I then proceeded to run 1.5 million errands. I was completely exhausted when I got home. Completely. I knew the laundry wasn't going to get done. Yeah right. I did manage to make Danny & Cole dinner (tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches) before my symptoms flared up and it was hard to stand up straight. So Danny made ME some dinner (ground turkey, squash and zucchini). We're just really into serving each other. That's what it is. A few hours later I decided that since every dish in the house was dirty, I'd better suck it up and do some dishes. Now only half the dishes are dirty. Hurray! Danny did the bike and we watched some Modern Family & A.I. When I found out Nicki Manaj was one of the new judges I had ZERO interest in watching it this year. Somehow, we got sucked in and I'm shocked at how much she hasn't gotten on my nerves just YET.
I've been doing a lot of research about IC (interstitial cystitis) as well as Candida and I'm really trying to find natural approaches. I've lost 25 pounds since I cracked down on my diet. It's the hardest and most emotionally exhausting 25 pounds I've ever lost. My weight has fluctuated a lot over the years and I've lost and gained several times. This time has by far been the hardest but it has also brought me the biggest reward. Not only have I lost weight, I've learned more about nutrition. I've learned that there are certain foods I don't want Cole to be raised on. I've learned that fresh is best. I've learned that I can learn to like new things and that I can DO hard things.
More importantly, I've learned that I need to be more compassionate towards people who have physical and health challenges. I need more empathy and humility. I've learned that God will not give us a trial we can't handle. He just won't. That means, with His help, I can do this. I read this talk the other night that changed my life. It sounds super cliché and trite but it did. It changed my perspective and how I view life. Some of the statements hit me like a ton of bricks. I layed in bed and just bawled. I've read it several times since. I've learned that sometimes the Lord won't take away our trials, because if He does--we won't learn the things we're supposed to learn. This life is called a test for a reason. Metaphorically speaking, the teacher doesn't give answers to a test until AFTER we finish it. Thankfully, I've had some sacred experiences that have confirmed to me the reason for this trial. I know that's not typical (to know WHY we're going through tough times when we're smack dab in the middle of them) but I'm grateful that the Lord saw fit to make an exception for me. It's making the process easier. I'm happy to know that the outcome of this test is way more than a good grade. It's eternal life and there is NOTHING I want more. Keeping an eternal perspective has helped me to focus on what matters most.
Two nights ago we almost put an offer on a home. We were literally driving to our Realtor's house and I got a really uneasy feeling. We'd seen the house twice, liked the area, LOVED the house. As in, I doubt we'll find one we like that much in terms of layout, space, storage, etc. We took the weekend to think about it and felt at peace with things but the more I thought about it while we were on our way to make it happen, my uneasiness grew into anxiety and I felt sick about it. For some reason, we're not supposed to be there. It was really disappointing because we felt so good at first and then that stupor of thought crawled in. When we got home that night, I was emotionally spent. I needed some clarity and was feeling totally overwhelmed with everything so I asked for a blessing. Danny gave me a beautiful, powerful and specific blessing. There have been few other blessings in my life where the Spirit was so strong. I'm glad Cole was able to witness it. There was no denying that Danny and I were overcome with the Spirit and I know Cole felt it too. I'm so grateful to be married to a worthy priesthood holder who can be the Lord's mouthpiece. I cannot imagine not having the Priesthood in my home. The blessing was much too sacred to share in such a public place but it was exactly what I needed to hear.
Since I'm jumping all over the place in this post, I'll add that Danny is doing awesome with losing weight too! He has made some big changes in the way he eats and it's starting to show. I never imagined we'd be growing kefir, adding chia seeds to green smoothies and cutting out so much processed junk. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss an occasional soda or slab of pizza...because I do. And I believe that my body will once again get to a point when I can indulge in that once in a while. For now, I'd settle with indulging in cheese, tomatoes or gluten-free ANYthing. Heck, I'd take a handful of fruit! Someday!
Comments