Some days

Some days are awesome. Yesterday was one of them. I did my 5k training, yoga, 4 loads of laundry, had a hilarious texting conversation with Jen W., ate {mostly} healthy, played around with my Grandpa's camera, went for a bike ride on my very own bike{pulling Caleb in his new bike trailer} while Danny and Cole walk/jogged, watched some AI {Alex & Jena killed it}, watched Danny reading Harry Potter with Cole and had a good talk with my Dad about nutrition and taking care of our bodies. The weather is getting warmer and it was awesome to hang outside with the fam. 

Somehow with everything I did yesterday, I messed my back up but not in the "usual" spot. My special, special back. So today has been much less productive and much more sentimental because all I could really handle was sorting through bags full of baby clothes and sorting them into sizes. I don't even know where to start from here. Donate them? Try to sell them to Kid-to-Kid? Keep them just in case? It's such a gamble. Even if we were to miraculously get pregnant again, who's to say it would be a boy? I don't want to haul this stuff all over the place and store it if it's not likely. As I'm typing this, I'm realizing what a first world problem this is and I feel sort of ridiculous. It's like that YouTube video,"I have too many chips for my dip but if I open another dip, I'll have too much dip for my chips."

I have too many baby clothes, blah blah blah. My life is ssooooo hard. 

But seriously, I do feel a little bit sad about it all. I kind of envy the people who know they are done having kids. Just to have that finality and closure to it. Not that it's easy if they can't have as many as they'd like, but I think I'd prefer to know: okay, this is it. Now, let's embrace what we have.

I think Danny and I have both really savored each stage and moment with Caleb so far. With Cole there was more "I can't wait until___" going on because we didn't realize how fast the time goes and we didn't realize it'd be 8 years before we could do it again. With Caleb I just keep wanting time to slow down and I try to spend more time soaking it all in. 

We're still living with my parents. It's been almost a year {in 10 days to be exact}. It was only going to be 3 months at the most. Our plans have changed probably 10 times since we moved in. So many decisions have been made and then re-made. I didn't even think we'd be here when Caleb was born. So I never bothered with a nursery, never put up pictures, never spent much time or thought on the fun things that come with having a baby. It's been a lot of sludging through tough and major decisions while trying to not let the stress affect my ability to relish my new little boy and my adorable big boy. I hope when we get into our own place, that I can have a cute nursery, put up pictures and do some fun projects that I want to do. That I can do because it's our place. We've been extremely blessed to be here and my parents have been very generous in letting us come back. It's just not where Danny and I thought we'd be again. We're getting closer to figuring things out but "things" take time. I don't want to focus so hard on what I don't have that I can't appreciate what is right in front of me. 

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