Se la vi
I have so much on my mind and I keep thinking to myself that I want to blog this or that and then life happens. Have I mentioned how busy things are right now? Let me reiterate it. WE ARE BUSY.
When we found out we were pregnant with Cole, we were scared because we didn't have health insurance. We qualified for medicaid so things worked out. I was so excited to quit my job because I was burned out, I had a psychotic boss and I was looking forward to becoming a devoted stay at home mom and never having to have a "real" job again.
I remember when I was 36 weeks a long with Cole and feeling very sick (because I had toxemia and didn't know it yet). I was so bored just laying around all day and imagining how quaint my life would be with one little baby. Everyone warned me that it would be hard so I was expecting that. Everyone told me to nap when my baby did, so I was anxiously awaiting that, too. After Cole was born and we were all back home settling into a routine, I remember thinking that life might be a little boring for the first few years while just having 1 little guy to take care of. We took walks when it was warm outside, I danced like a crazy woman to entertain Cole while he was in the swing (wonder why he dances like a weirdo) and when he napped and I couldn't sleep--I was bored. I had things I could have been doing...but I just didn't feel like it. I was bored. I almost wished I could work a teensy little part-time job maybe one or two days a week for just a few hours. Maybe 6 hours a week or so.
I laugh to myself now when I think about how simple life was. I know I sound like I'm recalling a time in my life that was forever ago--but honestly, it feels like it was forever ago. It really does.
A lot has happened since then. We've had some major ups and downs. I won't lie--probably more downs. But we're hanging in there and things are getting better. Let me briefly sum up what's going on...
Danny is working full time and going to school part-time.
I am working full time at one job and working another part-time job.
Cole is in school full time and is doing gymnastics every week on Thursdays.
Danny and I both have callings that we are actively involved with at church
I feel like I'm running on empty. Well, not totally empty because my gas light is on (insert joke here) but there's still a little left in the tank. I honestly don't know how we're still alive. We come home and crash every night. Then we do it all again the next day. I don't remember when life was this crazy. It probably hasn't ever been.
Danny enjoys his job and is glad to be back in school (for the most part, heh). I absolutely LOVE my job even though it totally wipes me out. Five year olds know how to drain my energy. But I love those little munchkins despite all of my fatigue :) My part-time job is awesome. Last week we had a guest speaker from the YWCA come and talk to the girls about abuse and violence. It was fascinating to me. I would love HER job too. I talked to her afterwards about her schooling and experience and it is something I could totally see myself doing at some point in my life.
Even though I love my job(s), if I'm being completely honest, I'd rather be at home again with a newborn. I know it sounds crazy to say that I wish I could be changing little poopy diapers and having tummy time and mopping up baby barf. But that's how I feel right now. It's not because I think it'd be less tiring because ANY mother knows that isn't the case. It's not because I don't like working and I want to lay around the house eating ding dongs and watching soap operas (although some days that sounds soooo appealing sans the soap operas). It's because the desire of my heart is to have another baby. It could be an adopted baby or one of my own. At this point, I don't have a preference.
We are working hard and I know we're heading in the right direction. I don't think there's much else we could do to improve our situation in life. So, we're trying to get back on our feet, back on our own two feet.
The only reason I have time to even blog right now is because it's SPRING BREAK!! 1 week to get caught up on life, laundry and some social time (I think I've offended all my friends at this point for canceling plans but I can try).
This next week is going to be wicked awesome. I like saying that even if it HAS run it's cool-slang-course. It just sounds spunky. Spring break, Easter and General Conference.
Please let some green grass and blue skies accompany the fun!
Photo courtesy
When we found out we were pregnant with Cole, we were scared because we didn't have health insurance. We qualified for medicaid so things worked out. I was so excited to quit my job because I was burned out, I had a psychotic boss and I was looking forward to becoming a devoted stay at home mom and never having to have a "real" job again.
I remember when I was 36 weeks a long with Cole and feeling very sick (because I had toxemia and didn't know it yet). I was so bored just laying around all day and imagining how quaint my life would be with one little baby. Everyone warned me that it would be hard so I was expecting that. Everyone told me to nap when my baby did, so I was anxiously awaiting that, too. After Cole was born and we were all back home settling into a routine, I remember thinking that life might be a little boring for the first few years while just having 1 little guy to take care of. We took walks when it was warm outside, I danced like a crazy woman to entertain Cole while he was in the swing (wonder why he dances like a weirdo) and when he napped and I couldn't sleep--I was bored. I had things I could have been doing...but I just didn't feel like it. I was bored. I almost wished I could work a teensy little part-time job maybe one or two days a week for just a few hours. Maybe 6 hours a week or so.
I laugh to myself now when I think about how simple life was. I know I sound like I'm recalling a time in my life that was forever ago--but honestly, it feels like it was forever ago. It really does.
A lot has happened since then. We've had some major ups and downs. I won't lie--
Danny is working full time and going to school part-time.
I am working full time at one job and working another part-time job.
Cole is in school full time and is doing gymnastics every week on Thursdays.
Danny and I both have callings that we are actively involved with at church
I feel like I'm running on empty. Well, not totally empty because my gas light is on (insert joke here) but there's still a little left in the tank. I honestly don't know how we're still alive. We come home and crash every night. Then we do it all again the next day. I don't remember when life was this crazy. It probably hasn't ever been.
Danny enjoys his job and is glad to be back in school (for the most part, heh). I absolutely LOVE my job even though it totally wipes me out. Five year olds know how to drain my energy. But I love those little munchkins despite all of my fatigue :) My part-time job is awesome. Last week we had a guest speaker from the YWCA come and talk to the girls about abuse and violence. It was fascinating to me. I would love HER job too. I talked to her afterwards about her schooling and experience and it is something I could totally see myself doing at some point in my life.
Even though I love my job(s), if I'm being completely honest, I'd rather be at home again with a newborn. I know it sounds crazy to say that I wish I could be changing little poopy diapers and having tummy time and mopping up baby barf. But that's how I feel right now. It's not because I think it'd be less tiring because ANY mother knows that isn't the case. It's not because I don't like working and I want to lay around the house eating ding dongs and watching soap operas (although some days that sounds soooo appealing sans the soap operas). It's because the desire of my heart is to have another baby. It could be an adopted baby or one of my own. At this point, I don't have a preference.
We are working hard and I know we're heading in the right direction. I don't think there's much else we could do to improve our situation in life. So, we're trying to get back on our feet, back on our own two feet.
The only reason I have time to even blog right now is because it's SPRING BREAK!! 1 week to get caught up on life, laundry and some social time (I think I've offended all my friends at this point for canceling plans but I can try).
This next week is going to be wicked awesome. I like saying that even if it HAS run it's cool-slang-course. It just sounds spunky. Spring break, Easter and General Conference.
Please let some green grass and blue skies accompany the fun!
Photo courtesy
Comments
I'm so glad to get an update. I have been wondering what you guys have been up to, and now I know WHY you haven't--you guys are crazy busy. I'm so impressed that you are doing so much to get yourselves into a good position, and I just know that soon you are going to have more good things than bad things go on for you guys. Mostly because I think you deserve it! love you guys
You can borrow my newborn for a few days. We're trying to get her into her crib and I'm exhausted. Kidding, but I hope this change comes for you soon. I know how bad you want it.
Keep your head up and just know I'm thinking of ya! (not that that matters much)
First, we will be in Utah this week. It's going to be a pretty crazy visit, but we'd love to see you guys if you have a minute. Email me.
I'm really sorry that things have been so hard for you guys. You guys are such great people, and I know there are great things in store for you! And wanting to be changing poopy diapers, etc. is not crazy at all! Tatum is only 8 1/2 months old and a friend of ours just posted pictures of her brand new baby on facebook. It reminded me of my girls being brand new and made me want another one, which unfortunately may not be an option for us because of my heart. If you guys are really interested in pursuing adoption you should check out a great adoption blog run by a lady there in Utah...therhouse.blogspot.com You can also email Lindsey (the blog writer) with any questions that you have. She has adopted two super cute little boys. Anyway, you guys will be in my prayers and I hope things get easier for you soon.