Can't sleep
When I'm sick it's hard for me to fall asleep. Plus I'm having one of those nights when my thoughts are racing. I have so much on my mind and I hate that I can't just put it away in a drawer and get it out another time to think about. A few things keeping me up:
I'm constantly being made aware of my shortcomings and it's getting a little TOO humbling.
Work has been busy. I'm glad that my 2nd job is over. I was totally burned out and I'm SO READY for summer to be here. Get here already. I think I have Spring Fever just as bad as the kids do.
I hate getting my feelings hurt because I don't consider myself easily offended so when it does happen I get mad at MYSELF for feeling bad. It's so jacked up. But we're taught that we shouldn't be offended, and that we CHOOSE to be offended. I'm struggling with this today.
I shouldn't have told anyone we were trying to move because I can tell people are treating us differently. It's not like they're being MEAN, it's just that the mentality sets in where they think there's no real point in getting to know us or spend time with us because we won't be around much longer anyway. That kind of sucks. And I need to point out that it's most definitely not everyone we're around.
I'm impulsive and I hate that about myself. Tomorrow I might regret posting this whole entry because I'll worry about who is judging what I wrote. And trust me, I KNOW certain people will be judging. Then I'll worry about coming across totally negative when I try SO HARD to be an uplifting person to be around. It's just one of those days.
I'm SO TIRED of looking for apartments. You'd think it wouldn't be that hard. But to find something that is close to the freeway, decently priced and has enough square footage to hold all our crap is quite a task. Plus, I don't really want Cole in a gang just yet. He's only 4.
I'm constantly being made aware of my shortcomings and it's getting a little TOO humbling.
Work has been busy. I'm glad that my 2nd job is over. I was totally burned out and I'm SO READY for summer to be here. Get here already. I think I have Spring Fever just as bad as the kids do.
I hate getting my feelings hurt because I don't consider myself easily offended so when it does happen I get mad at MYSELF for feeling bad. It's so jacked up. But we're taught that we shouldn't be offended, and that we CHOOSE to be offended. I'm struggling with this today.
I shouldn't have told anyone we were trying to move because I can tell people are treating us differently. It's not like they're being MEAN, it's just that the mentality sets in where they think there's no real point in getting to know us or spend time with us because we won't be around much longer anyway. That kind of sucks. And I need to point out that it's most definitely not everyone we're around.
I'm impulsive and I hate that about myself. Tomorrow I might regret posting this whole entry because I'll worry about who is judging what I wrote. And trust me, I KNOW certain people will be judging. Then I'll worry about coming across totally negative when I try SO HARD to be an uplifting person to be around. It's just one of those days.
I'm SO TIRED of looking for apartments. You'd think it wouldn't be that hard. But to find something that is close to the freeway, decently priced and has enough square footage to hold all our crap is quite a task. Plus, I don't really want Cole in a gang just yet. He's only 4.
Comments
Hang in there!
You rock.
We lived with my parents a few years back and it was (honestly) the hardest thing I ever had to do. I remember looking around desperately for a place and nothing seemed to work out. Then, out of the blue, we picked up and moved to ARIZONA-- something that was never in the plan. But that time we lived in AZ was one of the best experiences for us. Anyway, be patient. The right thing will happen for you. Learn what you can while you're in the moment and don't stress too much about the future. It will be here before you know it!
Well, I appreciate your honesty. It's refreshing. Sorry about the discouraging apartment hunt:( I hope you find the perfect home soon!