Lifting my spirits
Yesterday I sent Danny a text at 10:16 AM saying "Can this day be over now?" and then I continued on with a few more choice complaints. It was a rough day. It's just the same old thing. Feeling cruddy, getting home from work with zero energy, laundry needed to be done, dishes needed to be cleaned, almost out of groceries that I could actually eat and I had visiting teachers coming over and needed to tidy up but I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Then Cole gets home and in his typical way, brings some sunshine with him. He told me all about his day and how exciting it was (even the tiniest little things that brought him joy). Then he said he wanted to do something fun for me and said I couldn't watch him for the next few minutes. He made me clues to go on a scavenger hunt around the house. At the end was a sticky note on the laptop that said "open the laptop". Inside was a cute picture he had drawn/created/cut/pasted with "I love you Mom!" written on it. It took him 5 minutes but it made me feel good all night. In fact, it makes me feel good still. I told him that I was so glad he took the time to do that because it really cheered me up after a hard day. I don't go into details about my health with Cole but I just let him know that I was really glad he took the time to make me smile. He grinned from ear to ear and said "Mom, I'm so glad I could cheer you up, it's making my eyes water, just thinking about it!" Then my eyes watered too and we shared a special moment together. I know that "this too shall pass". This trial will someday be more under control and it won't be taking over my life. But this little moment with him shall pass too and I'm going to miss it. He is so thoughtful and sweet. This morning he came into my room after a night where I got a cumulative of 2.5 hours of sleep and said "I love you" maybe 25 times. Each time with an embrace. These are moments that I don't want to forget. I hope I can forget about getting less than 3 hours of sleep and sitting on my hot pad with 2 bottled waters and all the other "stuff" around me.
I want to focus more on the positive things and the tiny moments in each day that make me happy. Right now, I have to literally live life ONE day at a time. I have to think about THIS day and what I can get done. I feel like I can't commit to much (if anything) because I don't want to have to back out if I can't make it. If I can't get it done--it doesn't get done and I need to be okay with that. As long as Cole knows that he is fiercely loved EVERY day of his life, I am doing something right. As long as I make sure Danny knows how much I love him and appreciate everything he does for me EVERY single day, then I will feel good knowing he's not going unrecognized. Yesterday I was praying for some help. Any help. It came in the form of my son knowing how to cheer me up and my husband helping out with the laundry, going to Target to pick up some necessities and watching something funny that made me laugh. Oh, how I needed to laugh.
P.S. Danny has lost 10 pounds and is doing AWESOME. He's going to catch up to me if I don't start exercising again!
Then Cole gets home and in his typical way, brings some sunshine with him. He told me all about his day and how exciting it was (even the tiniest little things that brought him joy). Then he said he wanted to do something fun for me and said I couldn't watch him for the next few minutes. He made me clues to go on a scavenger hunt around the house. At the end was a sticky note on the laptop that said "open the laptop". Inside was a cute picture he had drawn/created/cut/pasted with "I love you Mom!" written on it. It took him 5 minutes but it made me feel good all night. In fact, it makes me feel good still. I told him that I was so glad he took the time to do that because it really cheered me up after a hard day. I don't go into details about my health with Cole but I just let him know that I was really glad he took the time to make me smile. He grinned from ear to ear and said "Mom, I'm so glad I could cheer you up, it's making my eyes water, just thinking about it!" Then my eyes watered too and we shared a special moment together. I know that "this too shall pass". This trial will someday be more under control and it won't be taking over my life. But this little moment with him shall pass too and I'm going to miss it. He is so thoughtful and sweet. This morning he came into my room after a night where I got a cumulative of 2.5 hours of sleep and said "I love you" maybe 25 times. Each time with an embrace. These are moments that I don't want to forget. I hope I can forget about getting less than 3 hours of sleep and sitting on my hot pad with 2 bottled waters and all the other "stuff" around me.
I want to focus more on the positive things and the tiny moments in each day that make me happy. Right now, I have to literally live life ONE day at a time. I have to think about THIS day and what I can get done. I feel like I can't commit to much (if anything) because I don't want to have to back out if I can't make it. If I can't get it done--it doesn't get done and I need to be okay with that. As long as Cole knows that he is fiercely loved EVERY day of his life, I am doing something right. As long as I make sure Danny knows how much I love him and appreciate everything he does for me EVERY single day, then I will feel good knowing he's not going unrecognized. Yesterday I was praying for some help. Any help. It came in the form of my son knowing how to cheer me up and my husband helping out with the laundry, going to Target to pick up some necessities and watching something funny that made me laugh. Oh, how I needed to laugh.
P.S. Danny has lost 10 pounds and is doing AWESOME. He's going to catch up to me if I don't start exercising again!
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