Blogging it out
I used to blog as much more than just a way to store and describe pictures. I miss those days. Of course those were the days when people actually commented on blogs so it was a more interactive experience. I miss that aspect of blogging too. I need a good, free therapy session and getting on Facebook isn't my idea of therapy. In fact, if anything--it's more annoying than therapeutic :) Still, somehow the ease of it all sucks me in.
Right now I am struggling. Feeling lonely after leaving our last ward/neighborhood. We don't know where we're going to be living in the near future and we have to buy a car. Danny is going to have to get a second job which means I'll see him less. Some women might be fine with seeing less of their husbands but I'm struggling with it.
I'm really missing our last ward. My friends, Cole's friends, my calling, feeling like we were surrounded by people who understood our situation and who were rooting for us. It's so easy to get lost in the shuffle when you're in a new ward and nobody knows you. I don't think anyone feels compelled to get to know us because our time here is so short. Please, even WE don't know how long we'll be here. We finally got called to be Primary teachers last week so now at least we feel some some sort of purpose but no matter what anyone says, a big part of church is the social aspect. I'm just not feelin' it here and it's been hard. Sometimes I start to second guess our decision to move but then I remember all the reasons we felt like we needed to leave and I know it was for the best.
With my parents moving and our financial situation shifting, we feel it's best that we put off looking for a house of our own and just rent. So, that's on the horizon. After years with no car payment, that's on the horizon too. Fun. So many big decisions and things that need to happen and this baby is coming in 8 weeks or less. I literally can't allow myself to think about how unsettled things are or I know I'll just spiral. I have to force myself to believe that things will work out. But it's hard when the opposite of faith is fear. Or doubt or worry. That means I feel like I don't have the faith that things will work out because I'm worrying. I have some quotes by Jeffrey R. Holland on a board on Pinterest that I need to memorize and TRUST in.
Right now I am struggling. Feeling lonely after leaving our last ward/neighborhood. We don't know where we're going to be living in the near future and we have to buy a car. Danny is going to have to get a second job which means I'll see him less. Some women might be fine with seeing less of their husbands but I'm struggling with it.
I'm really missing our last ward. My friends, Cole's friends, my calling, feeling like we were surrounded by people who understood our situation and who were rooting for us. It's so easy to get lost in the shuffle when you're in a new ward and nobody knows you. I don't think anyone feels compelled to get to know us because our time here is so short. Please, even WE don't know how long we'll be here. We finally got called to be Primary teachers last week so now at least we feel some some sort of purpose but no matter what anyone says, a big part of church is the social aspect. I'm just not feelin' it here and it's been hard. Sometimes I start to second guess our decision to move but then I remember all the reasons we felt like we needed to leave and I know it was for the best.
With my parents moving and our financial situation shifting, we feel it's best that we put off looking for a house of our own and just rent. So, that's on the horizon. After years with no car payment, that's on the horizon too. Fun. So many big decisions and things that need to happen and this baby is coming in 8 weeks or less. I literally can't allow myself to think about how unsettled things are or I know I'll just spiral. I have to force myself to believe that things will work out. But it's hard when the opposite of faith is fear. Or doubt or worry. That means I feel like I don't have the faith that things will work out because I'm worrying. I have some quotes by Jeffrey R. Holland on a board on Pinterest that I need to memorize and TRUST in.
And one that's just plain old good advise.
Comments
And can you just punch this person? Just once? Real hard? Tot kidding.