"Mommy, it makes my heart hurt when you cry."
6 AM the alarm goes off and we lay in bed trying to think of a way to get out of the day ahead of us.
20 minutes later we finally get out of bed and start getting stuff ready to take to Gma Miller's. Cole is half asleep and I get him dressed. Danny drops us off at my parents' house so he can take the car (he needs it for the whole day because he has school right after work). I hop in the shower while Cole watches Curious George. I'm rushing around to get ready and heating up water to make hot chocolate for our fieldtrip. I have to figure out "heaping tablespoons" into how many cups of powder to add to how many cups of water for a 2 gallon jug and it's a huge pain but I think I figured it out OK. I couldn't check it by tasting it because I was fasting for some blood work that I was going to have done. We're on our way out to the car and the hot chocolate leaks all the way down my shirt. Luckily, I have a semi-clean camisole that I can wear under a jacket. We get in the car and get to the hospital. I get my blood drawn and Cole is in complete and utter awe that there is a needle in my body and that I'm not freaking out. We leave the hospital, swing by the credit union to deposit a reimbursement check for the fieldtrip and then grab some breakfast because now that I don't have to fast, I am STARVING. We went through the McDonalds drive-thru, please judge us. Then we speed over to the school and we start getting rides, booster seats, chaperons and kids all grouped together. Each kid needs a nametag. Each driver needs instructions. We have 3 extra adults and 4 extra kids show up (please don't ever do this)...it throws everything off in a major way. Stress. I'm coping pretty well and my teaching partner even praised me on keeping so chill with all the chaos. "You just have to get yourself in a place mentally where no matter what happens--it will all work itself out and everyone will have a good time. Fake it 'til you make it." That's what I tell her. I was feeling pretty good.
We get to Cornbelly's and I'm in charge so I check in, start handing our wristbands and of course because of the unexpected extras, we don't have enough wrist bands. You gotta love being in charge when something like this happens, right? More stress and more schmoozing on my part and we're good. We take a group picture and everyone is happy. We get inside and everyone is in heaven. I'm walking around taking pictures when I realize that I don't know where Cole is. I ask a few other chaperons and they haven't seen him either. My knee-jerk reaction is irritation because Cole does this A LOT. He wanders off and doesn't seem to have a care in the world. I have him paged because I figure it would expedite the process...still no Cole and now my agitation is turning to worry. I get the help of all the adults in our group (15 to be exact) to help me comb the entire area. I ran out to the parking lot (expecting the worst, of course). Still no Cole. I get back inside and I'm told he wasn't even in the group photo so he disappeared right when we got there. Now my worry turns to panic because there are hundreds of people everywhere. They do ANOTHER announcement over the PA. The music gets turned off and the announcement was crystal clear. I think every single person stopped what they were doing and heard it. Now my panic was fear, disorientation, nausea and shock. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't even think straight. What do I do? Do I call the police? Issue an Amber alert? What do you seriously do in a situation like this? I'm wondering around while all the other adults are frantically searching everywhere we can think. Then out of the blue, Cole comes out of the CORN MAZE with an adult woman holding his hand. I literally dropped to my knees and started sobbing. Uncontrollably. Cole runs to give me a cheerful hug and I'm trying to thank the woman who found him and tell Cole how worried I was about him. He laughed until he realized how upset I was and then he started to feel bad himself. He cuddled up to me and wouldn't let me go. I sat there in the middle of Cornbelly's holding him and crying. He kept asking why I was crying and I just kept saying "I didn't know where you were and I was scared that something happened to you." Some sweet lady came up and asked if I was OK and I explained that I was hugging THE Cole White. She knew immediately who I was talking about. She patted my back and left me to cuddle with him.
I was still shaken up and just wanted to go home, but "the show must go on" so I had to put my game face on and pretend that everything was honky dory and that it was time to go play with the other kids. It took him a few minutes to leave my side and then it was back to me watching him like a hawk. He just wanders. He gets interested in something and jaunts off to check it out...and since he wasn't assigned to a particular group with a chaperon, it was easy for him to get lost and nobody notice. I was busy trying to smooth things over with the ticket office and get wristbands for everyone while he ran inside and wanted to check out the corn maze...alone. Each child had a tag on their shirt that had their initials and the name of the school, and a phone number to reach. My phone was sitting on the kitchen counter at my parents' house. A lot of good that did me. I was so frazzled from the crazy morning that I didn't pack a lunch for Cole OR myself. After bumming some lunch off some other kind souls, the whole class decided to go on the tractor ride. I couldn't handle anymore possible disappearances and we left separately.
Honestly, Cole has "disappeared" probably 50 times in his lifetime and it has NEVER been this terrifying. I have NEVER felt so helpless and terrified and I was just sick over it all. My eyes are still puffy from crying and I have a horrible headache. He is playing in his room and will probably wear a leash for the rest of his life. I just went in and laid by him on his bed and we chatted for a bit. He still wanted to talk about why I was crying and so upset. He apologized again and again and felt so bad. He said, "Mommy, it makes my heart hurt when you cry"...which almost made me start bawling again. Good thing he followed it up with, "and when you cry, I think my brain cries too"...which made me laugh...so all is well at the White House. At least for now!
20 minutes later we finally get out of bed and start getting stuff ready to take to Gma Miller's. Cole is half asleep and I get him dressed. Danny drops us off at my parents' house so he can take the car (he needs it for the whole day because he has school right after work). I hop in the shower while Cole watches Curious George. I'm rushing around to get ready and heating up water to make hot chocolate for our fieldtrip. I have to figure out "heaping tablespoons" into how many cups of powder to add to how many cups of water for a 2 gallon jug and it's a huge pain but I think I figured it out OK. I couldn't check it by tasting it because I was fasting for some blood work that I was going to have done. We're on our way out to the car and the hot chocolate leaks all the way down my shirt. Luckily, I have a semi-clean camisole that I can wear under a jacket. We get in the car and get to the hospital. I get my blood drawn and Cole is in complete and utter awe that there is a needle in my body and that I'm not freaking out. We leave the hospital, swing by the credit union to deposit a reimbursement check for the fieldtrip and then grab some breakfast because now that I don't have to fast, I am STARVING. We went through the McDonalds drive-thru, please judge us. Then we speed over to the school and we start getting rides, booster seats, chaperons and kids all grouped together. Each kid needs a nametag. Each driver needs instructions. We have 3 extra adults and 4 extra kids show up (please don't ever do this)...it throws everything off in a major way. Stress. I'm coping pretty well and my teaching partner even praised me on keeping so chill with all the chaos. "You just have to get yourself in a place mentally where no matter what happens--it will all work itself out and everyone will have a good time. Fake it 'til you make it." That's what I tell her. I was feeling pretty good.
We get to Cornbelly's and I'm in charge so I check in, start handing our wristbands and of course because of the unexpected extras, we don't have enough wrist bands. You gotta love being in charge when something like this happens, right? More stress and more schmoozing on my part and we're good. We take a group picture and everyone is happy. We get inside and everyone is in heaven. I'm walking around taking pictures when I realize that I don't know where Cole is. I ask a few other chaperons and they haven't seen him either. My knee-jerk reaction is irritation because Cole does this A LOT. He wanders off and doesn't seem to have a care in the world. I have him paged because I figure it would expedite the process...still no Cole and now my agitation is turning to worry. I get the help of all the adults in our group (15 to be exact) to help me comb the entire area. I ran out to the parking lot (expecting the worst, of course). Still no Cole. I get back inside and I'm told he wasn't even in the group photo so he disappeared right when we got there. Now my worry turns to panic because there are hundreds of people everywhere. They do ANOTHER announcement over the PA. The music gets turned off and the announcement was crystal clear. I think every single person stopped what they were doing and heard it. Now my panic was fear, disorientation, nausea and shock. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't even think straight. What do I do? Do I call the police? Issue an Amber alert? What do you seriously do in a situation like this? I'm wondering around while all the other adults are frantically searching everywhere we can think. Then out of the blue, Cole comes out of the CORN MAZE with an adult woman holding his hand. I literally dropped to my knees and started sobbing. Uncontrollably. Cole runs to give me a cheerful hug and I'm trying to thank the woman who found him and tell Cole how worried I was about him. He laughed until he realized how upset I was and then he started to feel bad himself. He cuddled up to me and wouldn't let me go. I sat there in the middle of Cornbelly's holding him and crying. He kept asking why I was crying and I just kept saying "I didn't know where you were and I was scared that something happened to you." Some sweet lady came up and asked if I was OK and I explained that I was hugging THE Cole White. She knew immediately who I was talking about. She patted my back and left me to cuddle with him.
I was still shaken up and just wanted to go home, but "the show must go on" so I had to put my game face on and pretend that everything was honky dory and that it was time to go play with the other kids. It took him a few minutes to leave my side and then it was back to me watching him like a hawk. He just wanders. He gets interested in something and jaunts off to check it out...and since he wasn't assigned to a particular group with a chaperon, it was easy for him to get lost and nobody notice. I was busy trying to smooth things over with the ticket office and get wristbands for everyone while he ran inside and wanted to check out the corn maze...alone. Each child had a tag on their shirt that had their initials and the name of the school, and a phone number to reach. My phone was sitting on the kitchen counter at my parents' house. A lot of good that did me. I was so frazzled from the crazy morning that I didn't pack a lunch for Cole OR myself. After bumming some lunch off some other kind souls, the whole class decided to go on the tractor ride. I couldn't handle anymore possible disappearances and we left separately.
Honestly, Cole has "disappeared" probably 50 times in his lifetime and it has NEVER been this terrifying. I have NEVER felt so helpless and terrified and I was just sick over it all. My eyes are still puffy from crying and I have a horrible headache. He is playing in his room and will probably wear a leash for the rest of his life. I just went in and laid by him on his bed and we chatted for a bit. He still wanted to talk about why I was crying and so upset. He apologized again and again and felt so bad. He said, "Mommy, it makes my heart hurt when you cry"...which almost made me start bawling again. Good thing he followed it up with, "and when you cry, I think my brain cries too"...which made me laugh...so all is well at the White House. At least for now!
Comments
Glad he is ok and safe.
I totally get it. I'm glad Cole is safe and that in a year or so, you'll be over it. (But not really.)
I am so glad he was found and that he was okay! Did I not warn you how crazy it was last week....and I only had to watch my one kid!
And...it doesn't surprise me in the least bit that he went off on his own....probably just wanted to "check it out". That Cole....he makes me smile :)
Anyway. SO GLAD he's okay and you are too.