Caleb's Eyes
I'm not sure exactly when it was, but after Caleb was a few months old, we noticed his eyes were starting to seem like they crossed more than they should. It was typically his right eye that turned inward but occasionally it would straighten out and the left eye would turn. At first, I didn't want to seem paranoid so I dismissed it. It sounds silly but I didn't realize how bad it had progressively gotten until other people started noticing and mentioning it. It was slowly getting worse and since I see him all day, every day it wasn't as obvious to me. His four month appointment was coming up, so I decided to talk to Dr. J about it. He walked right into the room and immediately started asking me about Caleb's eyes. We were referred to a pediatric ophthalmologist right away and within a week and a half we were in.
The first visit was just Caleb and I and was pretty shocking. I just expected Dr. Peterson to say that we would patch his eye and then he'd be good as new. He told me that Caleb had infantile esotropia. His right eye was shutting down and that the brain was so tired of seeing two images from the crossing, that it picked his left eye to use and just ignored his right. It made perfect sense to me. His plan was to immediately start patching Caleb's strong eye for an hour a day and then we'd see him again in a month. The patching wouldn't be to fix the problem, but to wake the brain up and remind it that it still had another eye. He said if we didn't resolve the problem in a timely manner, Caleb could permanently lose vision in his right eye. He talked about the need for glasses and probably surgery and then we were on our way. I was stunned. I set the follow-up appointment, bought the patches and called Danny once I got to the car. I started bawling because I felt like a bad parent, I felt bad for Caleb and I was worried that we had waited too long. I felt bad about the reaction that we got from a few people who seemed to not be as supportive as I anticipated they would be. I didn't feel like hearing "chin up and get to work!" I was sad. And I felt like it was okay to feel that way for a couple days. Of course after the news sunk in, I was ready to rely on my faith and just do what we could do. The thought of him going blind in one eye was a scary thought but you can't let the what-ifs eat you up.
Day 1 of patching looked like this:
He hated it and it broke my heart to see him so upset. He would tightly close his right eye so that he didn't have to use it at all. I took the patch off and tried it later in the day when he was happier. It seemed a little better but I had to hold him the entire hour and he is a whopper. It was the l-o-n-g-e-s-t hour.
Day 2: Started out okay
Ended in tears
Each day got a little bit better. It seemed to just exhaust him because for the first few days, he took really long naps and seemed more tired than normal. I remember thinking that an hour a day was so short that it couldn't possibly help. Ha. Shows what I know.We just had to do it when he was in a good mood and basically hold him and entertain him the entire time and it was manageable.
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| Maybe one of my favorite pictures of all time. |
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| Sympathy patching |
It's pretty remarkable what doctors can do for BABIES and their vision. They said it honestly was a bit of a guessing game but they could definitely make a difference.
Before leaving, we tried on some frames just in case we went that route.
After praying about it, we decided that we didn't want to just jump into the surgery without giving the glasses a shot. It may not work and we know that. But at least this way we'll never have to wonder if the glasses would have done the trick. Monday we picked up his glasses.
They are adjusted as tight as they'll go and soon they looked like this:
So we MacGyvered up a tighter version which just ended up looking like goggles.
The first day he was putting them in his mouth and trying to chew on them. There have been tears but we are determined to give it a go. It's a big adjustment to have something on your face all the time. I remember getting glasses at the age of 12 and constantly being aware that there was something on my face that was bugging me. I'm thankful that babies adjust quickly to change and are very resilient. I'm sure he'll get more used to them as the days pass. In a few weeks, we'll meet with the doctor and have a serious talk about the surgery which involves removing the muscles that hold his eyes in place and re-attaching them in a way that will straighten his eyes out. Sounds gross but it's out-patient and considered pretty low risk and standard. As his body grows there will likely be subsequent surgeries required but that is also considered pretty standard. We keep praying that no matter what--the Lord's will be done and I'm convinced that he will be able to maintain vision in his right eye which is a huge relief!
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