A few thoughts

I really need some sleep but I wanted to jot down a few thoughts about today. As the Primary chorister in my ward, all year we work towards this one day: The Primary Program. It went off without a hitch. The kids did so great, they sang fantastically, sat reverently and had ME as well as many others in tears. A few weeks ago during Singing Time, before beginning a song, I told them that the most important thing to me about this program was that they FELT something. That they felt the music. I didn't care if they messed up a word or didn't finish a phrase all together, I wanted them to feel the Spirit because THAT is what they would remember. I got emotional and testified that when they feel what they're singing about--others will feel it too and everyone is edified together. I remember when I got set apart for this calling. I came home and wrote in my journal some very distinct things that I remembered about the blessing. I don't normally do this on my blog but I thought I'd make an exception since it feels alright to share.

Words from the Blessing (given by Bishop Farley & Brother McCracken on June 19, 2011) 

I have been given many gifts and talents.  I am aware of these talents and I need to use them to help Heavenly Father’s children.  He is aware that I’ve been in the Primary for much of my married life.  That is where I am needed.  Teach the children the meaning of the songs.  Share my testimony of the truth.  Stop the music on occasion and let my tears testify of the Savior and His gospel.  Know that I will be talked about by the children and their parents around the dinner table.  Be an example to them…they are watching me and learning from me.
 I was advised to go home and write down what I remember from the blessing.  He told me that his daughter told him that I was her favorite chorister so far.  How sweet.  I always feel so good after being set apart.  I believe that it really does strengthen and inspire me in my calling.  Even though I was worried about “ending up” in the Primary after my last ward, I know that I will really enjoy being in the Primary in this ward.  I do feel like I have something to offer the children.  And I want to make a special effort to testify more of what we are singing about.  I want the children to know that I believe what we’re singing about.  They will feel the Spirit.  They are building their little testimonies and need to feel the Savior's love.

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I have been in the Primary for many, many years. I was anxious to get into Relief Society and start to mingle with other people my age. I obviously don't know what's best for me. That is so clear to me now (and yet I'm still learning this lesson in other areas of my life). I have been tremendously blessed to share inspired music with a part of the Army of Helaman. These children were sent to earth at this time for a reason. Their Spirits are strong. They are prepared for battle and I believe that they are not only capable but willing to fight for righteousness. Even as I type this, the Spirit testifies that this is true. I have been the chorister in other wards before and have always been a little shy about getting emotional while conducting. I don't know why. It was like after getting this setting-apart blessing, it was Heavenly Father's way of gently nudging me to open up to the children. To let them know by example that it's OK to be moved and affected by the music. That's one of the most powerful teaching tools we have. There have been a handful of occasions when I have felt prompted to stop what we were doing and testify to them. To share my testimony about the lyrics, and the principles we are learning about and to let them know just how precious they are to our Heavenly Father, The Savior and to me. Those moments were sacred to me and I hope they remember them.

This is not an easy calling. It's probably hard to imagine what goes into it unless you've done it yourself. I don't pretend to know everything about music and rhythm, quarter notes and the jargon but I am excellent at FEELING. My heart is open and the music speaks to my soul. I guess that is what truly matters. I hope I can convey that to the children. They are growing up in turbulent times and I hope they will remember these melodies and lyrics. They will stick with them and can be a source of comfort and peace in the difficult times that await them.

It's also a privilege to associate with the wonderful women in the Primary Presidency and my pianist is a former Bishopric member and High Councilman who EARNED this calling :) He just shows up every week and plays {we joke about the fact that his calling is the best kept secret in the ward}. He also reads my mind. He's amazing like that. We're a great pair.

Off to bed now that it's after Midnight but I just wanted to share how grateful I am for my calling. How much I love these little people and how honored I am to be able to share such beautiful, inspired music with them every week.